After Alan mentioned he was a Christian, everyone around him clammed up and distanced themselves from him. They automatically assumed Alan possessed several unpleasant characteristics.
Justified or not, the public today holds a number of negative impressions of Christians. One of the most frequently mentioned complaints: “Christians are hypocrites.” I know, I know. This seems like a really lame charge. And we’ve become quick to push it back. For example, circulating on Facebook this week: “Griping that churches are filled with hypocrites is like griping that gyms are filled with out-of-shape people.” Touché, I guess.
But biting back doesn’t seem to be blunting the negative opinions. This is due, in part, to a misunderstanding of what people really mean when they say “hypocrite.” We commonly assume they’re defining hypocrisy as saying one thing and doing another. But today the allegation is more nuanced. What they’re really saying is, “You act as if you have all the answers, like you’re a superior know-it-all.”
When our neighbors hold these beliefs, making clever comebacks only pushes them further away. If we really want to reflect the love of Christ, we’ll need to be more proactive.
In our new book, Why Nobody Wants to Be Around Christians Anymore, we advocate “4 acts of love” to help reverse Christians’ unbecoming reputation. One of them applies directly to this charge of hypocrisy. We call it Genuine Humility. It’s the antidote to hypocrisy.
WHAT GENUINE HUMILITY IS NOT
- Humility is not being insecure in who you are.
- Humility is not belittling yourself in hopes of receiving little nuggets of hollow praise.
- Humility is not saying “I’m so humbled” after being recognized for achievement.
WHAT GENUINE HUMILITY IS
- Humility is admitting one’s own sins and flaws.
- Humility is open to learning from others with different views.
- Humility is communicating a sense of “we’re all in this together.”
Genuine Humility acknowledges that we’re all on this journey of life. None of us has all the answers. When we show we’re eager and open to grow, we invite others on this God-journey.
What does Genuine Humility look like in everyday life? Here are some practical ways to demonstrate love through Genuine Humility:
Model vulnerability. Share your own struggles and shortcomings.
Share your questions. Be honest. Your willingness to voice your questions about life and God welcomes others into the dialog.
Control your appetite to be right. Refrain from using proof texts as weapons.
Squelch the pride. Escape the spotlight. Remove your name from the marquee. Refrain from building your “brand.” Be last, the servant of all.
The world is repelled by hypocrites on pedestals. But the world is drawn to real people who ooze Jesus-inspired Genuine Humility.
Nicely explained. It’s always baffled me that “hypocrite” was a fighting word to believers. Of COURSE we’re hypocrites…depending on how you define the word. I constantly fail to personifly the character of Christ…but is that really an expectation I can meet? I love what a Christian friend once told me: “I’ve given up on having to always be ‘right.’ I’m not ‘right.’ If I was always ‘right’ I wouldn’t need Jesus.”
I agree very much that we need to lose the superior attitude and such. I have some conflicted feelings about “modelling vulnerability” and “sharing my questions.” It seems that as soon as a Christian shows any vulnerability (i.e., admits they sin), that’s exactly when non-Christians jump all over them and accuse them of being a hypocrite! I’ve personally been confronted with, “I thought you were a Christian. I thought Christians didn’t do that.” Saying that I’m on a journey, and that I’m not perfect just forgiven only resulted in derisive laughter. How do you respond to that?
Thom may (and most likely does) have a better response to this, but from my own experience, I’d say that’s the risk we take as Christians. At best there are going to be a lot of people who just won’t/can’t get it (depending on your views on predestination and free will, I guess!), but over time some of these people may see Jesus’ grace in your life BECAUSE of your vulnerability and imperfections. I don’t think we can anticipate that anyone is going to see grace as more than a “free pass” until they’ve seen us struggling with our own doubts and sins and experiencing that costly grace for real.
Then again, in the worst case: I have had the opportunity to get very close to some unbelievers and unfortunately because I am not perfect yet, I feel like some of the fall-out from those relationships has turned them away from Jesus–at least for now. So I get what you’re saying and on that level I still wrestle with this. I can only hope that in the future, whether I know it or not, my vulnerability and obvious failures will trigger in those people a realisation of their own need for grace and bring them back around, instead of sending them further into the night.
I think in the end, all vulnerability is a trusting-God issue. We trust Him to allow us to be vulnerable to others in the first place, and then we have to trust Him to work with what we were vulnerable about, even if we can’t work it out ourselves.
Maybe it’s best to take time to get to know the people around us, giving ourselves time to be ‘Christianly’ in your actions, talk and dealings and then bring out the “I’m a Christian” card. But honestly, if we have a good relationship with God going with regular praying and reading the bible to hear from God, this baring the fruit of the Spirit… love, joy, peace,.. ect. should be generally shining from us all the time, even when things get tough at work and home. This is not to say we don’t have those days where something strikes us just wrong and we fly off the handle a bit. We’re unfortunately human. But in the big picture of it all, those around us in our lives should see a difference in us.
The word “Christian” caries with it a lot of baggage. From the Crusades through today seldom is a Christian cast in in the light of Christ in the secular world. With that said, we hypocrites do need to step up our relational skills and turn the tide and truly listen to the world we live today. Jesus walked and talked with all people. No labels, all people. His mission, as ours, is to share the love and saving grace through a life in Jesus. It’s all about Jesus, not us. Try follower of Christ or follower of Jesus instead of Christian and see how that may change things. It works for me.
[…] in the face of differing views looks like, and it’s pretty compelling. (There’s also this blogpost about the kind of humility I’m talking about, described a lot better that I can say it.) […]
[…] Some of the ideas for this post came from Thom Schultz: Reforming a Repulsive Reputation and The Antidote to Hypocrisy. […]
As a South African Christian I cannot speak about any of the Churches outside the boarders of South Africa, but as a believer in the Truth of God’s Living Word, I feel it is my Christian responsibility to unveil the growing number of hypocritical Churches in South Africa, so to warn others to be vigilant at all times.
First of all, there are many Christians who actually do not understand what a hypocritical Church is all about. All hypocritical Churches are filled with self-glory, fame and pride, and this is clearly evident on their big bill boards, where these preachers love to be seen and their names to be known and respected by others. These Churches base their beliefs on the commandments of men and not on the commandments given by God in His Eternal Living Word. Thus, with deceitfulness and worldly lusts, they corrupt the Word of God, professing to be God’s Church when they are not.
Let me further prove the facts about these Churches, which I have on record. For the past 14 years I have been walking and working amongst the poorest of the poor, which includes the homeless. I have seen their humiliation, their frustration, their hurt, their hunger, and even their anger because of the way society treats them and how the Churches turn their backs on the cries of the needy. The majority of these poor and needy, claim that it is easier for them to enter the prison gates, than what it is to enter the gates of Churches today.
To confirm whether their claim is true or not, I started going from Church to Church, only finding the Churches locked up behind high security walls. On their bill boards of pride and fame, I wrote down the almost hidden contact numbers of these different Churches. One for one I phoned these Churches and 6 out of 10 of these Churches were on voice mail. I left each a urgent message, but not one ever bothered to return my call, I thought well maybe they might be playing golf or at some gambling house.
The other 4 out of 10 Churches bluntly showed me away when I told them that I am in need of some food, and that I do not belong to their Church. My question here is, if it was the Lord Jesus Himself knocking at their door for food, would they have also sent the Lord Jesus away?
I decided to take this test a bit further and I sent these Churches an email, stating that I would like to donate R50,000 to their Church. Within 3 hours these Churches emailed me back, thanking me for the wonderful contribution to their Church and when is it possible to collect the money. They did not say sorry they cannot accept this donation because I do not belong to their Church, and they did not bother who I am and where I come from. Well are these hypocritical Churches or not? Most certainly they are, and they are well known Churches and preachers in South Africa. They cannot dispute the truth of this, because I have the emails they sent me on record.
So the words of the poor and needy carry the weight of truth; It is easier to enter the gates of a prison, than it is to enter the gates of Churches in South Africa.