But the true link to the health benefits may not be what you expect.

Gallup found that people who regularly go to church make better health choices, experience fewer daily negative emotions, and are less likely to be diagnosed with depression. And the very religious are more likely to eat healthy foods, exercise more frequently, and generally experience higher life satisfaction.

Great! So, shall we advertise that sitting through an hour at church each Sunday will make everyone healthier? Not so fast, said the researchers.

It turns out that it’s not really worship routines that correlate to better health and wellbeing. Actually, it’s friends. Churchgoers are happier and healthier because of their church friends. And church friends lead to greater life satisfaction than friends outside of church.

But churchgoers who have no friends at church are less happy than those who do not go to church at all.

LEARNING FROM THE FINDINGS

Though few churches would say health and wellbeing are their primary ministry goals, these are certainly desirable side benefits. And though the Gallup study did not measure spiritual growth in this research, an earlier Gallup/Group study did find links between friendships and faith. We discovered that 74% of those with good church friends say their faith is involved in every aspect of their life. But only 54% of those without a best friend at church say the same thing.

Knowing how church friends affect wellbeing and faith, we must wonder how well churches are intentionally seizing this benefit. Yes, I know every church says it’s friendly, offers groups, hosts occasional meals and events, and so on.

But what about the “main event” of the week–the weekly worship service–the time when most people make their only connection to the church? How well do most churches encourage and facilitate friendship during and around that time? Some would boast they prod worshippers to “meet and greet” for the obligatory 60-second handshake frenzy each week. But everybody in the pews knows that ritual has little to do with friendship.

If we want to encourage more friendship, we’ll need to devote some real time and attention to it. Provide times–during the worship hour–for meaningful conversation. Let people talk with one another about how God is working in their lives. Pose thoughtful questions for people to respond to with two or three others around them. Encourage interaction. Break out of the spectator emphasis of the American church experience.

To be honest, I used to be bothered when I observed the ushers gathering and chatting in the lobby during the singing on Sunday morning. But now, after seeing the true friendship–and faith–that those guys share, I think maybe I’ll apply for my usher badge.

After an extended time we reconvened, and shared what happened during that silent time. For some, it was a relaxing quiet time with no particular message from God. Others reported various divine interventions. A word. An image. A sense. A nudge. The Holy Spirit acted—customized for each person.

That unscripted time with God reminded us Who is in charge, and gave us fresh direction.

Later several of our leaders pointed to our extemporaneous God times as the most impactful elements of our retreat.

It reminded me how scheduled and rehearsed the church has become. Our worship hours are meticulously timed to the minute, or second. Our Bible studies are conducted with academic rigor. Even our small groups have become predictably regimented. Nothing is left to chance. Nothing is left to the Holy Spirit.

Our carefully laid plans often leave no room for God.

But the world craves the true presence of the Lord, a supernatural brush with the divine, the reassuring touch of love from the living God. These moments can’t be planned, rehearsed or controlled. It’s God’s domain.

We’ve learned to allow such extemporaneous times in our Lifetree Café experiences. Every week I’m surprised—and inspired—by how God works. In ways we could never have planned.

David Hurlbutt, music and outreach director at a church in New York, described how God frequently surprises him at his church’s Lifetree Café ministry:

“The most amazing thing for me is watching God move so visibly in that room week after week, putting just the right people at the right tables. A dad with a son at Lifetree for the first time; the son having just received his second DUI—only to sit with one of our Friendship Team members whose son had experienced the same thing.”

David also described a woman who found Lifetree, “happened” to sit with some followers of Christ, and joined in the spontaneous conversation. She said after the hour: “I want to know Jesus like that.” David said she prayed to receive Jesus into her heart that night.

“Only God can do that kind of work,” David said. “In 20 years I’ve never been part of a ministry where I’ve trusted God more and watched his followers be used to create real God space where he moves and does the miraculous week after week.”

Want to see God work? Open up, give him time, let him loose.

Researchers and influential spokespeople report that a large majority of young people drop out of church after high school and rarely return. And they point out that the faith of Christian teenagers lacks depth and theological integrity.

I too am concerned by what I see happening among our young people. I’ve watched the spiritual trends ever since I founded Group, the youth ministry magazine, in 1974.

Though many of the trends are troubling, I find some of the pundits’ analyses of the causes and the cures to be rather puzzling. Some say church youth ministry was weakened by the attraction-oriented influence of the old parachurch organizations such as Youth for Christ and Young Life.

Others propose that the real disease here is the entire genre of a ministry specifically designed for teenagers. They say that segregating teenagers for specialized ministry defies biblical models of ministry. And that, they say, has led to spiritual malaise.

Others blame the media, consumerism, technology, youth ministry books, training events, parents and senior pastors.

Some of these things may contribute to the exodus of the church’s youth. But they’re not the primary culprits.

The real problem is much simpler. And it’s not a uniquely teenage problem. While adolescents have been drifting away, the same trend infects the American population at large. Adults too are drifting away. The fastest growing religious affiliation among adults is “none.”

So, why are our young people losing faith in the church and God? It’s a relationship problem. They don’t think of Jesus as their friend. He’s a concept or an historical figure. He’s an academic subject that their churches teach. And once they graduate from youth group, they forget about the Jesus subject—just as they forget about their other high school subjects. Jesus gets left behind with algebra and early American literature.

Ironically, many youth ministry analysts suggest that the cure to the young’s exodus is . . . more academic religious knowledge. They insist what’s really needed is “deeper study,” “stronger biblical teaching,” and “more robust theology.”

Thorough Bible knowledge is a good thing. I’d like to see more of it. My organization publishes Bibles and Bible resources. But kids aren’t walking away from the church because they lack an adequate accumulation of Bible facts.

They lack relationship. And relationships—of any kind—rarely grow and bond primarily due to the accumulation of data. Relationships—with people and with God—develop through demonstrations of unconditional love, building of trust, forgiveness, reliance, and tons of two-way communication.

Relationships built on these things endure. And grow. And actually develop a craving to learn more.

Where do we begin? Any relationship begins with the simple discovery that someone really exists, is real, is present, is truly alive. It’s hard to fall in love with someone you don’t believe exists. So, we can afford to spend more time showing the present-day Jesus, rather than only teaching about the historical Jesus. We can devote more time to hearing and encouraging peers who tell how God acts and intervenes in their lives—today, each week.

We can provide more opportunities for the real present-day Jesus to shine through genuine relationships with mature believers who ooze the unconditional love of Christ.

We can plan more deep experiences, such as community service opportunities, where kids can witness God’s love in action.

We can provide meaningful times of personal introspection, conviction, and immersion in the miracle of God’s forgiveness.

We can devote more quiet time for kids to engage in personal two-way communication with God.

In short, building a true and enduring relationship with Jesus looks a lot like building a relationship with another person.

If we desire to see this generation of young people embrace their faith and remain loyal to the Body of Christ, we must help them become friends of God.

Let me introduce you to some people (names changed) who project a certain confidence in being, well, stuck.

• Rev. Bennett stopped reading ministry magazines and journals twenty years ago. “Why would I read that stuff?” he asked. “I could write every one of the articles myself—and twice as good as those simpletons.”
• Brenda used her church’s funds to attend a youth ministry conference. But, after the first session, she spent all her time in her hotel room and the coffee shop. “I know more than those lame speakers,” she said.
• Someone invited Cynthia to a ministry forum on homosexuality. She declined, saying, “Why would I go to that? I already know my opinion on that issue.”
• A businessman in the church handed Ben a new book on leadership. Ben thanked him but promptly shelved the book. “What ministry credentials could that author possibly have?” Ben asked.

This kind of know-it-all arrogance grinds ministry to a stale halt. And it leads to bitter, cynical, burned-out, stuck ministers.

Want to avoid this sad stagnation? Want to stay fresh? Want to feel refreshed? Be a life-long learner. Resolve to enter each day with the question, “What can I learn today?”

Let’s see how our four previously mentioned characters could approach their various situations—as learners rather than closed minds.

• Rev. Bennett: Read with a curious heart. Recognize that every writer possesses a distinct background, experience base, and unique perspective—from which you can benefit.
• Brenda: Listen to those you consider below you. Look, with an open heart, for that one nugget you can gain from those whom God places in your path.
• Cynthia: Eagerly go out of your way to entertain views that differ from your own. No one learns anything by insulating and isolating.
• Ben: Pursue opportunities to learn from those outside your profession or tribe. The freshest ideas often come from those in an entirely different place.

Don’t go stale. Allow God to make all things new—every day.

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galatians 6:4-5, The Message.

Some years ago I agreed to serve on a search committee for a new pastor. We began by establishing a set of traits and abilities our congregation needed in a pastor. It was a well-considered list.

But before we could find and interview even one candidate, we were cut short by a self-appointed group of members who campaigned for the current associate pastor. And I do mean campaigned. They set up a card table at the entrance to the sanctuary and solicited signatures on a petition. They printed and mailed flyers advertising their man. They declared a “Wear Red for Ed” Sunday.

The group demanded a congregational vote. Ed’s red-clad supporters (and dozens of recruits I hadn’t seen in church in years) showed up in sufficient numbers to tip the majority for their man. Ed was promptly named senior pastor, and the search committee was dismissed.

Following election day, the church hemorrhaged members, including most of the long-time lay leaders. It was a grotesque and messy way to select a pastor.

But I’m afraid this isn’t the only kind of oddity we see in typical processes for selecting pastoral staff.

A common practice is to parade candidates in front of the congregation for a Sunday inspection. The prospective pastors preach a sample sermon. And congregation members use this one-time performance as their primary or sole determiner of their vote for pastor.

The sermon show is a poor litmus test—for multiple reasons. It’s terribly unfair to judge a pastor’s overall worthiness on one sermon. It’s impossible to pick a sermon topic or style that connects with everyone. And, good pastors do far more than deliver a 20-minute weekly speech. To judge them solely on the delivery of one sample sermon is sort of like choosing a car based solely on the sound of its horn.

And, the full democratization of pastor placement also causes some dysfunction. Effective screening, scrutinizing and selecting the best candidate–for any job–requires a lot of time and discipline. Expecting an entire congregation to cast an informed vote without the background work is unrealistic.

In addition, church constitutions and bylaws often require a super-majority of 70 or 80 percent to elect a minister. The intent is good. However, I’ve seen elections come up a few votes short of the super-majority, leaving a large majority frustrated with their will being thwarted by a relatively small minority.

Those denominations that undemocratically place pastors without congregational votes may avoid some of these problems, but they create other problems and mismatches.

So what’s a better way? A few thoughts:

1. Actively engage the entire congregation in selecting and endorsing members for search or call committees. The more these members are known and trusted, the more their hard work will be respected.

2. In lieu of a sample sermon, consider a live, unrehearsed interview of the candidate in front of the congregation. Here, questions can probe the candidate’s values, vision, experience, approach to teamwork and leadership, etc. The way the pastor answers the questions will also indicate the ability–or lack thereof–to communicate effectively.

I recently invited churches around the country to send me samples of their newsletters. They responded with an assortment of newsletters–printed, emailed, and web-based–from all kinds of churches.

I found some good examples, some bad examples, and some ugly examples. Here’s a quick review.

THE GOOD

Short bits. The better newsletters keep it short. People are busy and already information-soaked. They tend to pay attention to newsletter articles that are concise–two or three paragraphs. Longer essays look daunting, and tend to get ignored. Less is more.

Graphics and photos. Some newsletters show good use of art and photos. Especially photos. People love seeing their friends pictured in ministry activities, and just being funny. The best newsletters make their photos big enough to clearly see faces. So, one larger photo is usually better than three or four little ones.

Names. The church is people. So, the best newsletters mention lots of people by name. They describe people involved in activities at church, and outside of church. And they accentuate the names by printing them in bold-face type.

THE BAD

Insider jargon. Some newsletters tend to confound visitors, new members, and casual attenders with mysterious insider language. “Join the CYI and the SNiFers for Work-n-Word in the narthex.”

Eye strain. Some newsletters run text across the entire width of the page, which is difficult to read from line to line. Better newsletters keep line lengths to three or four inches maximum.

ABCs. I’m referring to some churches’ fixation with Attendance, Buildings, and Cash. Some newsletters regularly devote space to the very data that are easy to measure but tend to detract from the true ministry of the church.

THE UGLY

Let me amend that subtitle. I think MISSING would be more accurate. There’s something missing from nearly every newsletter I received. And, sadly, this particular something is the most important ingredient for any ministry newsletter.

What is the missing part? Stories. Stories of God at work through your ministries. Stories of changed lives.

The best news that a ministry news-letter can send is the news of God at work in your midst. This is the news your people crave. More than anything else, they need and want to be reminded of God’s presence, and God’s active role in your community of believers.

Tell the story of a member’s answered prayer. Tell the story of your youth group impacting a Mexican orphanage with God’s love. Tell the story of a girl who remembers and applies a learning from your children’s ministry. Tell the story of a “divine appointment” that a member recognized and seized.

These are “God sightings.” They are potent evidences of the reason for your existence. If the purpose of your newsletter is to inform, inspire, and enthuse, actual present-day God stories do the job like nothing else.

The best newsletters tell the story–the story of God in action amongst his people?

“We’re not a rich church.”

“That doesn’t fit our budget.”

It’s true that many churches have struggles meeting their ministries’ financial demands. But oftentimes truly productive, transformative ministry opportunities arise—only to be dashed by the money excuse.

What’s worse, some of the dollars that are currently being spent have little or no legitimate, spiritual return on investment. So these expenditures squat in the budget like a fat sloth, eating up dollars that could be spent on something that would produce real ministry results.

I asked ministry people around the country to name where they see their churches dumping dollars into dubious pits of no return. Here’s a sampling of what I heard:

• Dull little newspaper ads. “We spend $400 a month on ads that list our times and location. And they haven’t resulted in one new member.”
• Church logo schwag. “At local parades, fairs and other events we give away bottled water, fly swatters, and pens. We call it outreach. But it never works.”
• Full-color bulletins. “Our church of 200 spends $150 a week on these, which get quickly thrown away.”
• Flat-screen TVs for the lobby. “No one pays any attention to them.”
• Espresso machine. “Rarely gets used. We don’t keep it supplied.”
• Logo bumper stickers. “How many lives are transformed because they saw a clever church logo on someone’s Ford Explorer?”
• Fog machine. “Made me gag.”
• Capital campaign consultants. “They gladly take the first $50,000 to tell you what you already know.”

The list goes on and on. (Feel free to add yours in the comments below.) I know people can defend each one of these expenditures. But what’s the true ministry return on investment? And how many of these items have precluded other more life-changing ministries?

How can we be better stewards of the dollars that the faithful givers deposit in the offering plates each week? Here’s a quick checklist to consider.

1. Prioritize spending on things that draw a direct line to Jesus. Invest in things that directly bring people into a closer relationship with the Lord.
2. Do an audit. Look back over the previous year and ask how–or if–each expenditure led to changed lives–or not.
3. Don’t let mere numbers rule. An expense may draw 500 people to a one-time event, but may not be as spiritually fruitful and lasting as an ongoing ministry for a handful.
4. Have faith. Pray for God’s guidance and step out and invest in direct ministries that may stretch your comfort levels.
5. Share the dream. When you find a new true ministry opportunity, share your vision widely. There are people in your church and community who’ve been wary of dubious spending, but are ready to invest in something that truly changes lives for Christ.

This shrinking minority differs from the majority in several ways:

• Audience-Oriented. They appreciate a good presentation from the stage. They prefer to passively listen while the paid professionals on the stage do the work. Similar to theater-goers, they may judge the “performance” based on how well they are entertained or engaged.
• Anonymous. They often seek anonymity. They like being part of a faceless crowd. They don’t necessarily want to be noticed—or known. They appreciate churches that keep the spotlight on the performers on stage, that allow the audience to sit quietly in the dark, so to speak.
• Authority-Centered. They rely heavily on authority figures for information and inspiration. So, in the contemporary church, they count on the paid professionals to communicate the insights, move them, pray on their behalf, and do the real ministry.
• Academic. They see the church’s role as primarily academic. They come once a week to obtain information about the Bible or God or life. They expect to hear an authority teach theological principles and historical data.
• Auditory. They’re often auditory learners—people who take in and remember primarily through their ears. The contemporary church service suits them because it’s predominately an auditory experience.

For the shrinking minority, this type of church experience satisfies them. They’re content with the status quo.

But what about the growing majority of people who don’t regularly attend church services? Why don’t these same factors work for them? It seems that what attracts the church-inclined may actually repel or at least disinterest the majority. Let’s look at each factor again from their perspective.

Audience-Oriented. Though most people enjoy a good show, they don’t view their spirituality as a spectator activity. Even though they may long for God, they say they don’t see the need to sit in an auditorium and watch professional religious people perform rehearsed presentations.

Anonymous. Though most people seek occasional anonymity, when it comes to matters of the heart, they actually crave relationship. They want to be known. They want to contribute to the conversation. Telling their story is as important as listening to someone else’s.

Authority-Centered. Most people today have moved into the new era of information distribution, which is accentuated by the internet. Increasingly, people no longer have to wait for authorities to deliver needed information. They’re comfortable accessing and processing it themselves.

Academic. We live in an information-soaked world. When it comes to spiritual things, most people don’t sense they’re lacking hard data. They’re lacking the soft stuff of the soul. Their desired relationship with God seems more at home at Starbucks than in a lecture hall. Like any relationship, they sense growth in a relationship with God comes more from give-and-take than passive consumption of someone’s lecture.

Auditory. Research shows that 30 percent or less of the population is made up of auditory learners. Most of the population processes information and thoughts primarily in other ways. They tend to tune out when asked to endure a presentation that implies they should sit still and listen.

Don’t misunderstand. These people aren’t disinterested in God or spiritual things. They simply don’t find the church’s format a good fit for them. The typical Sunday morning service of half lecture and half sing-along simply isn’t a useful way for them to connect to God.

And it doesn’t matter how carefully the preacher prepares or delivers the sermon, or how polished the musicians perform. That formula just doesn’t work for most people anymore.

If today’s church wishes to reach beyond the shrinking church-inclined attendees, it will need to consider new and different ways to engage people.

I’m not suggesting the church erase what it’s doing for the current audience. Keep serving the church-inclined. I’m simply suggesting it’s time to add some additional new and different experiences. At different times. In different environments. To grow the church. To be the church.

Increasingly, that’s the reputation attached to Christian folk. And, sadly, some church leaders and teachers go out of their way to promote their holier-than-thou judgmentalism.

As a publisher of Christian resources, I frequently hear from squinty-eyed conspiracy theorists who find evil in innocence everywhere they look. Some examples:

• If you depict a rainbow you must be supporting a radical gay agenda.
• If you ask people to silently meditate on a biblical truth you must be a Buddhist.
• If you refer to science you must be a God-hating humanist.
• If you discuss the environment you must be a pagan.
• If you ask students to visualize a certain scenario you must be a New Ager.
• If you like Easter eggs you must be a Babylonian Mother Goddess worshiper.
• If you discuss things in popular culture you must be a “neo-Christian.”
• If you set up a prayer walk you must be an Emergent heretic.
• If you dance you must work at a strip club.
• If you keep your underwear secret you must be a Mormon.
• If you offer a potluck you must be a luck-believing follower of Lucifer. (The correct term, I learned, is “potblessing.”)

This is a classic case of guilt by association. If anyone anywhere has ever used something for a less-than-heavenly purpose, that thing and anyone who uses it must be considered unclean. This brand of judgmentalism has become a self-righteous weapon of mass destruction.

But, actually, such judgmentalism has been around a long time. Jesus faced the same phenomenon. The witch hunters of the day called Jesus a “glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” He associated with the “wrong” people and the “wrong” things. He picked grain on the Sabbath, for heaven’s sake.

The Pharisees are alive and well. Today. And, they’re inhibiting the cause of Christ. They’re portraying the church as a judgmental band of paranoid finger-pointers.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that Christian folk should wear rose-colored glasses. But I mourn the harm being done by those who look at life through crap-colored glasses.