How do you thaw the “frozen chosen”? How do you engage the disinterested members of your flock?
In my last post I described these people as PIBOs—Present in Body Only. Though they may show up, their hearts and minds are elsewhere. I suggested we need to discover how to better reach them. Some readers wondered what that might look like.
I’ll provide some discoveries. And you’ll want to do your own research—with your own PIBOs. Sit down with them. Interview them. Ask what stirs them—and doesn’t stir them—about their church experiences. Just ask and listen. Don’t defend or scold or cajole. Just listen.
As I’ve interacted with PIBOs, I’ve found they exhibit many similarities to the vast unchurched population. I’ve spent a lot of time with these people through my work with Lifetree Café, which really focuses on them, their needs, and the avenues to their hearts.
These people are not disinterested in God. They’re just not too interested in how the church typically packages faith pursuits.
A New York Times piece on Sunday described the growing population that’s “running from organized religion.” But the writer, Eric Weiner, said he and others without a particular religious affiliation are not running from God. In fact, 93 percent of these non-affiliated people say they believe in God or a higher power.
But they’re looking for a way to connect to God that looks different from church-as-we-know-it. Here are some of the characteristics Weiner and his friends would like to see:
- Highly interactive
- Celebrates doubt
- Encourages experimentation
The people we may be tempted to write off as disinterested don’t want to be passive spectators. They want to be an active part of the faith conversation. They crave a place that acknowledges and embraces that even faithful people experience doubt and questions. And they long for a faith expression that isn’t so predictable and regimented.
Our work with Lifetree is one form of experimentation to connect with these folks. We’re learning as we go. The Times writer said he’s not looking for someone to “invent a new religion, but rather a new way of being religious.” He’s in tune with countless others we’ve surveyed in our work to more effectively reach today’s people (the unchurched and the PIBOs) with the message and love of Jesus.
A Virginia newspaper this week described a woman who said her local Lifetree Cafe’s relaxed atmosphere “makes her comfortable about asking questions or voicing her opinions.”
A sign inside that (and every) Lifetree Cafe reads:
You’re welcome just as you are.
Your thoughts are welcome. Your doubts are welcome.
We’re all in this together.
God is here, ready to connect with you in a fresh way.
A friend in our congregation forwarded the quoted NYTimes article to me on Sunday. Your post prompted me to take the time to go back and read it now. At the risk of some kind of heresy accusation from my True Believer friends, I think the article is very much on target.
We had a special Lifetree Cafe’ yesterday at noon, because we’re thinking about expanding from the once-a-week episode that we’ve been hosting since June, to twice a week early in the new year. Such is the strong response in our rural town of 20K people. Yesterday at noon, five out of 13 people were there for the first time. And last night at our regular time, ten out of twenty-three came to Lifetree Cafe for the first time; most of those had driven over an hour to get there, even from a neighboring state.
The positive response to Lifetree Cafe as a third place, a safe place for faith conversations that embrace doubts, rather than shun them, is simply amazing. If we can do this in our little town and get this kind of response, the possibilities are incredible! Thanks!
Thanks, Thom! Love the more positive take on things–part of the solution of the national problem, rather than a particular take on a common but more congregation-specific problem. This perspective is the ONLY one that works with today’s high school students (a.k.a. the teenagers at church!). And it does work…most of the time. Thanks again.
“Your doubts are welcome” – What an encouraging idea! I think a lot of people at church desperately pretend to believe certain ideas about God so that they can fit in. They also try to do it so that God won’t be “mad at them” and because they want to go to heaven and worry that if they can’t force themselves to believe in a certain way then God’s grace is no longer available to them. I’m so happy that you have created safe spaces for people to find God’s love.
Thom, This is a good start. I used this as motivation to start that very conversation with my Pastor and the leadership. Thanks!