“I don’t feel we’re being fed at this church,” Bill admitted. He’s thinking about switching to another church–where he can be “fed.”
What does Bill mean? It seems that Bill, and many others who express similar feelings, go to weekend services expecting to receive encouragement, solace or inspiration. Their expectations are often unmet.
These expectations now form what many consider to be the essence of a church’s mission or purpose. It’s to satisfy the appetite of the audience. A church elder in the documentary When God Left the Building, states his church’s mission this way: “I believe it’s to keep the membership up, keep it fortified, keep everyone feeling good about being there, keep people desiring to come there and want to be there.“
Many church leaders advocate a similar consumer mindset for church involvement. They often say, “You need to go to a church where you’ll be fed.”
This whole image bothers me. There’s something very self-focused about it. I can’t help thinking of Audrey, the gluttonous flesh-eating plant in the show The Little Shop of Horrors, bellowing out, “Feed me!”
I’m all for spiritual nourishment. But I worry we’re producing a generation of pudgy pew sitters who desire nothing more than to gorge themselves on super-sized feasts of knowledge and anecdotes. Many teachers and preachers believe it’s their job to satisfy this big appetite with ever-more-tempting platters of “deep” Bible details, soaring oratory, and five steps toward a happier life.
What’s the outcome? Are we producing healthy, productive disciples–or well-fed, complacent gluttons? We’re seeing some telling effects among the Dones, the mature Christians and life-long church members who are now leaving the institutional church. Sociologist Josh Packard reports in his upcoming book Church Refugees that these people are feeling over-stuffed. They’re tired of the same high-fat meal that’s dished out for them weekly. They want to actively exercise their faith.
A question of mission
Should people view their local church as a spiritual fast-food joint? Is the prime objective to make sure patrons amble out rubbing their stomachs, feeling well-fed? I think not. I don’t believe God intended the church to be a diner for self-absorption, even spiritual self-absorption. Rather, the church should strive to be the healthy Body of Christ, the community of believers coming together to experience and love God, and to love one another and the larger community.
For those ready for a healthier diet, some suggestions:
MEMBERS & ATTENDERS. Stop looking for a trough where you can be “fed.” Look for a Jesus-centered community where you can be the church, where you’re given full access to love one another, to experience God, and to exercise your faith.
CHURCH LEADERS. Don’t pander to those who wish to sit, gorge, and grow obese. Shift the primary focal point from a mere mass-feeding to a time for the Body to connect, love one another, experience God together, put their faith into action, and share stories with one another of God’s recent interactions.
Some churches today are doing it. They have chosen to intentionally step beyond the “feed me” mentality. One such congregation, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, even incorporated its bigger mission into its name–The Point Is to Serve. From the get-go, people understand the point is not merely to “be fed.” Instead, these Jesus-followers are known for how they feed others. Sometimes literally. Like the time they delivered 32,000 pounds of ham and bacon to the needy.
Pastor Allen Kjesbo said, “We believe service is a key (and often neglected) path of spiritual formation.” The church’s small groups, called LifeServe Groups, “not only study the Bible and pray together, they also serve together,” Kjesbo said.
This church isn’t striving to fill pews with satiated spectators. “We were challenged to consider how to measure success differently,” Kjesbo said. “It’s about transformation–not ‘nickels and noses.'”
Do people leave their spouses when there is nothing more new to learn about them from a diary or someone else’s mouth? Isn’t just living with them and having a relationship with them enough? The reality is Christianity is actually simple. We don’t have to know everything there is about another person to have a relationship with them. I think this so called spiritual food isn’t so much always learning something new about God but just spending time experiencing Him, living life with Him. If our spouse goes on an outing with friends for several days, we miss them, hunger for them. The house has this empty feeling that needs filling. After time away from God from all of life’s distractions, we gain this hunger for God that needs filling. Often we read the bible to listen and here from Him or pray as a way to spend time with God again to fill that hunger and be reacquainted and catch up with things. People say they are not being fed because they are not hearing anything new about God. Maybe they are placing too high expectations on the pastor. The idea of having these peoples attention turned to serving and applying what they learned sounds like a next step for them.
I’ve always believed that “I’m not being fed”, is one of the worst excuses about church. I believe that sheep know how to eat and drink for themselves (the shepherd can leave the sheep in the pasture to graze for themselves while looking for a lost sheep). In all my years – I never depended upon a pastor to feed me. Ever since my teens – Iv’e been one to study for myself. Sure – I’ve listened to pastors preach and got some things out of it – however, I never took their word….I had to search it for myself (its gotten a few eyebrows raised too – one pastor had to apologize for teaching something false – after I presented a 10 page report – rebutting what was said, he was a good pastor).
When I was pastoring a traditional church – I always challenged the body to study what was said, to ask questions and if necessary challenge what I said. Many who were from a custom of “the preacher’s word is law” didn’t understand this. I told them – I’m a fallible man presenting an infallible God, a God that you should know for yourself – not vicariously through me. I believe this can help produce people that will live out their faith and not just spectators, because the know for themselves. I think a good pastor strives to work himself out of a job 😉 .
Exactly
I agree with you. However, “not being fed” could mean that the preacher simply is not preaching the gospel. So much pop psychology is preached today. At best these amount to quick self help encouragement meetings rather than holy encounters with the true and living God. Whatever happened to the death, burial, resurrection and second coming of the Lord? We should to hear about being born again and traveling through this land on our way to eternity. Why has the focus of church changed?
Well said, Thom with many excellent points. Your recommendation to, “Look for a Jesus-centered community where you can be the church…” cuts right to the heart of the matter.
Amen. Preach it, brother. Do be aware, though, that in pretty much every corner of our lives we’re trained to be astute consumers–shifting brands whenever one additional benefit pops up in a box further up the supermarket shelf. Loyalty and taking personal responsibility requires a change of heart. Investment. Love.
A shinier preacher over at the other church? More convenient meeting time? More agreeable songs on the worship menu? I’ve seen all of those prompt a migration.
Our consumer culture isn’t going to go away. But perhaps we can at least be transparent about our discontent with the church we’re in and our desire to go elsewhere.
I’d at least once like to hear “I’m not being fed” thoroughly explained. Perhaps as “I have conflict with people here and I’m not comfortable dealing with it.” Or “I want to find out more about the Bible than I’m getting in sermons and don’t want to invest in reading it on my own.” Or “I haven’t found a place to really plug in and I’m not sure how to go about making that happen.” Or “I haven’t found friends here.”
Any of those more transparent explanations opens up insight for us as a church–is there merit to what’s being said? If so, what if anything will we do about it?–and an opportunity for an honest discussion.
“I’m not being fed” is too quick and too easy…and assumes none of the responsibility for spiritual malnutrition.
Let’s get past it.
Excellent article today. I think it begins to touch on a couple of issues: 1) the church today has made it oh so easy for people to write a check on Sunday and say that they are the hands and feet of Jesus. They sit in the pews and say “I fed the plate, now feed me.”; And 2) the church today has become more about “Let’s help those in need. Let’s set up a program at the church and make them come here for help” instead of going OUT among the needy and serving them where they are (you know, like Jesus did). Of course if we do it at church we need more money …
Many people today want to serve, they want to help people who are less fortunate than they are. They see the church with all these programs where those in need have to come to the church to get help and they know that is not what Christianity is supposed to be about. They know we are supposed to go out and serve, not sit and wait at the church for those in need to come to us.
They see those churches with $10 million centers to feed the poor and think – ” Wow, how many people could we feed with $10 million if we went out to them and met them where they are.” They see hypocrites who are more about looking good on the street corner than they are about actually serving.
AMEN!!!
“Being fed” can also mean that there is no living and vibrant presence of Jesus there. Where the gathering is only “social,” where the worship is just words and songs with no heart, and where the Word is devoid of life, merely pious platitudes or feel good psychology.
One of the reasons I believe for the emerging “Dones” is they feel malnourished at church (and likely are). I do believe its possible, even vital, for sermons to be insightful, thought-provoking and informative. I personally like these types of messages. I want to learn something NEW about the Word of God, even if I disagree. Biblical ignorance is as much a tragedy as spiritual apathy.
The problem I see is that most preaching today isn’t all that insightful, thought-provoking or informative (especially among those preachers who speak on topics). A lot of sermons are biblically weak and the preacher has done little study behind the text. But just as troubling is it also doesn’t create conversation in the chairs and aim for life change beyond the Sunday service. The key is 50/50: 50% content and 50% application. The IMBALANCE is what creates the dissonance (“feed me!”). Too much content (facts, Greek words, history) and your mind is impressed, but your heart left uninspired. Too much application and your heart is inspired, but your mind is left unimpressed. Great communicators are both impressive AND inspirational.
One of the first rules I learned in Christian education class: “Impression without expression leads to depression.” FEED ME is the hungering hope of the “dones.” So while I applaud Christian service (APPLICATION), I don’t agree nor believe we need to abandon or de-emphasize biblical instruction…rather we need to reimagine it! We need to go DEEP and WIDE. Deep into the Word. Wide into our world. For without roots there can be no fruits.
Preach! Preach! Preach Man!!!!! I love your statement, describes my struggles #EXACTLY! God Bless You Sir!!!!!
I am going to be the only one who disagrees with you on this one. But here it goes. You are dead wrong. When a person says “I am not being fed” they are saying I am looking for something and not finding it. If what they are looking for falls with in the mission and purpose of the church then it is a reasonable statement to make. If what they ask falls out side the mission and purpose of the church then it is unreasonable. This article show the Laziness of the author. Paul said “I become all things to all people that I might win a few” The burden of adjusting falls on the missionary and the church not the sheep of the lost. Like it or not we live in a consumer society, the consumer has the power, if they don’t like what you are offering or the way you are offering then you must change. If they are going against a core teaching then you say sorry we are not offing that you need to look else where. If it is not a core teaching they you say ok let’s see if we can accomidate you.
Marshall you are not the only one. I will just say this, you can not serve from an empty pot.
I agree and believe we need to make the Sunday morning service more about Worship. I have learned over the years that the Word of God draws people. They are hungry for it just like the woman at the well was thirsty but did not know it.
[…] speaking, I enjoy Thom Shultz’s posts on Holy Soup. They’re well-written, offer the insight of years of experience that I most definitely […]
It appears to me quite often that this statement is made by people who want church to be done to their personal preferences rather than being servants of the Kingdom of God. Many times they are being fed but don’t like the menu.
Reblogged this on nu.
What rickchromey said.
Tim commented on Facebook: “Leonard Ravenhill summed it up best when he said we need unction in the pulpit and action in the pew. We don’t need bla bla sermons, but sermons that help us live our daily lives and inspire us to do great things for God.”
In reading this, I will agree, and probably not say anything new. But to me, the “feed me” model is one of “I come here to get something”, not “I bring myself to you, God, in Worship”. If we go to church expecting to GET something, we will be disappointed. If we go to worship with actually NO goal or expectations, but with the desire to praise and worship God, in that act we will actually be fed.
Good thinking, John.
But John… If it were only about the worship and we canned (stopped) the lecture I am sure we would retain more young people than if we continue to lecture young people from the pulpit!
I think you misunderstand these people. I really do.
These people are not looking for the tidbit of profound information that will transform their lives. They had already received that and made their decision by accepting Jesus as Lord! In their excitement, they are engaging in just about every kind of Bible study out there. They are digging and learning. They become engaged.
And going to Sunday service and not feeling satisfied is not a lack of “I bring myself to you, God, in Worship,” either. That’s way off.
They are all IN. They are members. Some of them are involved in Bible studies and small groups. But now it is time for more. A Sunday morning lecture following a predictable set of 4 or 5 worship songs is not going to satisfy that need.
This is now a culture that requires a missional engagement. They work all week. They have kids in sports. They attend other church events so adding one more outside church sponsored program won’t get it done.
They need to exchange ideas and share testimony with each other WHEN THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE TOGETHER and for most people, that time is only available on Sundays. It’s the stories the church tells to each other that keeps them motivated and encouraged.
They don’t need a lecture for 40 minutes about 1 Corinthians 6–they need to engage in a dialog with the pastor and each other about 1 Corinthians 6! They need to be involved! They need to be able to ask their questions and get them answered while the points are being made. They need to discuss with each other how they will implement what the Apostle Paul was teaching in that chapter.
They need to be involved in the presenting and planning and exegeses! They need to pull out of the chapter the nuggets inductively. The Sunday morning service does not make this possible for most people and those churches simply do not know what to do for these people.
Church plants in the early stages are so exciting. A group of dedicated people join together to form a new church and they meet at coffee shops, in living rooms, anywhere they can gather and talk about everything. This attracts others who get caught up in what’s going on and they make new, tight, long lasting friends with those who are beginning this new church venture!
But along the way, after they finally get “enough” members, they rent a school or a space, set up some chairs and start doing church. Then things change. Now there is a schedule. Now there is an order of worship. Now there is a sermon. Now there are rules and a time and a place for things. It all changes.
The very thing that was so attractive about this new church plant now has gone away and they become just like every other church. That group of believers got involved because of each other and being able to engage with each other AS THEY LEARNED ABOUT GOD’S WORD. New people came because they could ask the tough questions and get an answer. Now that we have a space and chairs and a pulpit, they no longer can ask their questions. Now the spontaneity of the Holy Spirit speaking through someone sitting in the congregation is frowned upon because it does not fit into the schedule or the planned service.
THAT’S why they stopped coming. Its the opposite of what you think. They had the fire. Our structure and lecture model is what put it out.
I tend to agree with Pastor Bill. But let me extrapolate on my feelings as Millennial traveling quickly towards being “done”. Many more of us in the Millennial generation have sat through hundreds of hours on lectures in college. We know how to sit and absorb information, whether it be 20 minutes or 90. However, often the weekly sermon feels like Christianity 100.
How many years must we sit in Christianity 100? How many times would you repeat the same course? We are already saved and believe in the redeeming grace of Christ. Having grown up in the Church, I can scarcely force myself to attend during any of the pre-Christmas or pre-Easter services for lack of interest in the same sermonettes I’ve heard for 20+ years.
Where is Christianity 200, 300, etc? Perhaps small group studies? Yes, those tend dig deeper into scripture and be more personally applicable, however, they are mostly conducted by lay persons. Not the people you want to look to for guidance on thorny scriptural or doctrinal issues, in my opinion. I would much rather a lay person give the sermon on the basics and learn from the ordained minister when it comes to a detailed study of the word.
The “feed me” mentality is a great expression to be aware of because it expresses a bigger problem with the church culture – an inward focus. A church that is concerned only with the “feed me” exists for its own survival as an organization and it is well on the path to being spiritually dead. I can see a contrast being “feed others” which takes on an outward mission focus. Feed others better follows Jesus own words to Peter in John 21 – Feed my sheep, feed my lambs.
Amen. It’s about serving not being served. Forming a true relationship with our savior.
“Many teachers and preachers believe it’s their job to satisfy this big appetite with ever-more-tempting platters of “deep” Bible details, soaring oratory, and five steps toward a happier life.”… Well said, and to take it further, It should also be noted that many preachers love the “feed me” desire of their congregations to “feed” their own egos/appetite. They selfishly protect their position as the “alpha” teacher/preacher and are addicted to the rush of admiration and comments from the congrats. They love it when they hear comments like, “you were on fire this morning with that sermon, pastor”, or ” wow you sure spoke to me this morning”, and ” pastor, you sure delivered the word this morning”. We need to examine all areas when addressing this problem and it’s not always just the parishioners with the big appetite.
This is a very timely read for me as I prepare to speak on Church membership tomorrow. I have a much clearer understanding of what Church is meant to be. Thank you Tom!
I believe the church is to fulfil the functionsof a family. It is to help the church to grow up into the image of Christ.
That means it feeds God’s sheep ( John 2:15-17) and to bring them to a maturity . (Ephesians 3:15-16
It is the purpose of the church to be an example of God’s love and nature. ( Eph. 3:10)
To do this we need to train and teach, to not be self centred but look out for others. There is no one function for the church and that is why each congregation needs the five fold ministry gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher. This should constitute the spiritual leadership of the church. These are gifts given for the church.
Reblogged this on Laced up Lutheran and commented:
I enjoy Thom Shultz’s articles about church. They are enlightening. This article in particular hits on a real challenge that the church faces. It’s well worth the read.
In response to the article, I posted the following comment:
The “feed me” mentality is a great expression to be aware of because it expresses a bigger problem with the church culture – an inward focus. A church that is concerned only with the “feed me” exists for its own survival as an organization and it is well on the path to being spiritually dead. I can see a contrast being “feed others” which takes on an outward mission focus. Feed others better follows Jesus own words to Peter in John 21 – Feed my sheep, feed my lambs.
[…] Friend and pastor Kent Shane shared this post by Thom Schultz reflecting on the statement, “I’m Not Being Fed at This Church.” […]
[…] commenter on my earlier article, “I’m Not Being Fed at This Church,” offered some thoughts on this phenomenon. He’s Pastor Bill Wagner in Tacoma, Washington, who […]
25 years ago in licensing school, preaching instructor Rev. Guss Shelley told us about HIS first appointment. He said he preached salvation sermons for six months with no one coming to the altar. He confided his feeling of failure to “Aunt Sally,” one of the older members. She told him, “Don’t worry honey. We were all saved years ago. What we need to hear is how to live that way.”
Jesus once told his disciples, “You feed the crowd,” and they ate with them. That’s where people get fed. When they’re living/loving that way, feeding others. Anybody who isn’t, isn’t getting fed. And I’m sorry for them, but a lot of people didn’t listen to Jesus either. All I can do is to keep leading people to feed each other and eat with them. And maybe those who are not getting fed will finally eat with us.
Joe… now THAT is good stuff! Roll up our sleeves and pass the meatballs! Our “services” all begin with a meal together with all the lively discussions that come with it! It’s amazing stuff…prayer requests…news about families…praise reports…testimonies…it’s incredible what gets covered before we even open our Bibles to explore more how to transform!
Good stuff!
Hello. This whinging whining nonsense about “Not being fed at this church” is all rather trite I fancy. Yes I have heard all this rubbish before!!! Answer; do an Open learning or external student course in Theology. All it takes is your time and a bucket load of cash to pay for the subjects!! Stop pigging out on pizza and tithing and invest in your own ministry. I have suggested this to people. Usually they are too lazy or tight ar……ed to spend the money.
I got up at 4:30 am and worked until 9:00 am to do my work. Stop complaining and find the fantastic joy in becoming informed through a guided study course. There is nothing more satisfying than sitting down with highly paid professional ministers and realising that you sometimes have an exceedingly educated edge beyond their capabilities. Time and Money that’s the answer and if you are not self disciplined to study then you can bore everyone you meet with your sad stories.
Marshall, Michelle, Mary & Martha,
I agree. “I’m not being fed” may be a valid criticism. I’m weary of reading comments that shift this responsibility away from the elder who is admonished to “feed His sheep,” as Jesus told Peter. Also, 1 Timothy 3: an overseer (elder) must be able to teach. It’s sad that a pastor hearing “I’m not being fed” would not consider, “Gee, I’ve heard this from a few people. I just wonder if I could be putting more time into my study, being prepared, etc.” Yes, it is your responsibility as an elder/pastor to feed your sheep, not to tell them to find food elsewhere. I didn’t see this writer referencing any scripture to the idea that church is not a place to be fed. (What??) Let’s have iron sharpening iron. Every pastor should be encouraged to teach deeper and deeper, while every member needs to study deeper to follow his pastor’s sermons. Keep it going! Let’s all learn more, so we can praise our Lord for all that He reveals to us in Scripture.