Ministry tends to be hard, messy and thankless.
At the end of a long week, the last thing you want to hear is another complaint from a whining member, volunteer or staff person. But there are those in leadership who actually seek out negative feedback.
Why? Receiving full and wide feedback (positive and negative) helps you serve better, meet real needs, and reach more people with God’s love and message.
Leaders who do not actively solicit honest feedback tend to insulate themselves. They surround themselves with those who already agree with them, or who are compelled to say only what the leader wants to hear.
Sadly, some ministry leaders act a lot like the politicians we’ve come to loathe in Washington, DC. They adopt a Beltway mentality: “I know what’s going on out there. I know better. I know what’s good for you. I know better than you how to spend your money.” The more they settle into the Beltway life, the more they “hunker in their bunker.”
Some pastors hunkered after I suggested in an earlier blogpost to conduct exit interviews with those who leave their churches. One said, “Don’t expect a phone call from me.” Another refuses to talk to departing members, saying, “Most ‘church leavers’ want to be catered to, fawned over and spoon-fed. Jesus did not do that and his church should not do it either.”
But Jesus did listen, he did make himself accessible to a wide swath of people (receptive and not-so-receptive), and he did ask lots of questions.
Today, smart leaders in companies and non-profits ask lots of questions too. They solicit feedback–especially negative feedback. They know the feedback helps them improve, and helps them control the “word on the street.” You see, people who have an unresolved negative experience with an organization typically tell 10-20 others about it. But when they interact with an organization that listens and responds, they tend to turn into the organization’s most vocal supporters.
So, how can you solicit more feedback, especially from those who may be unhappy? Some tips:
1. Prepare your mind and spirit. Separate your work from your identity, so that you take complaints as critiques on your work rather than attacks on your personhood.
2. Seek feedback from a wide cross-section of your people. Especially seek out those with whom you don’t often interact.
3. Use a variety of methods to collect feedback. Do surveys, comment cards, focus groups, and simple conversations over a cup of coffee.
4. Listen. Refrain from crafting a defense. Just listen.
5. Contact those who leave your ministry. Find out what really led to their departure. You’ll often be surprised.
6. Keep track of the feedback. Put a simple system in place to quantify and qualify the feedback you receive.
7. Act on the feedback. First, thank those who offer feedback. Sometimes your listening ear is mostly what they need to calm their angst. And when you hear legitimate concerns, take corrective action.
8. Remember your role and God’s role. The one who is above reproach is God. The rest of us will benefit from listening to critiques and striving to serve Him better.
This is EXACTLY what I needed this week!!! Thank you so much for your insightly wisdom. It seems God has spoken to me several times through you! Working Together in HIS Service…
Very good! One thing I learned was how to separate myself from the criticism. It wasn’t so much that I felt personally attacked, I just didn’t have a good coping strategy for it, particularly the whinier and more obnoxious people were about their criticism. I like to think I’ve matured and would better handle such criticism in the future. But realistically, the tone and tenor of some criticism can wear you down and knowing not only how to handle it but knowing when to withdraw to a solitary place to weigh it all out can help greatly. Doing so helps you to evaluate the criticism and to separate the good, sound criticism from the non-productive criticism.
“Sadly, some ministry leaders act a lot like the politicians we’ve come to loathe in Washington, DC. They adopt a Beltway mentality: “I know what’s going on out there. I know better. I know what’s good for you. I know better than you how to spend your money.” The more they settle into the Beltway life, the more they “hunker in their bunker.”
You’re absolutely right with this. I experienced this personally as I was usually the one suggesting that we need to talk to people and listen to them, while those who had been at the church the longest, gave the most money and/or helped to build the building felt they knew what was best and often talked about the congregation in those terms—that they didn’t know what they wanted. As I endured my share of abuse, I could clearly see the parallels to politics. Unfortunately, this type of attitude by leaders breeds parishioners who check out and begin to care less and less about the ministry apart from just coming to church, worshipping and going home, partricularly once they find out their vote is not appreciated or their voices don’t count.
Yes, Seek out and listen to those who are leaving
BUT be very aware, you may find yourself in the midst of a spiritual attack
Not from the folks your spending time with but with the Enemy who will twist words
Opening and closing the exit interview with prayer would be wise
Perhaps a prayer of blessing upon the folks as they seek whatever it is they are looking for
Thom the range and quality of topics in your blog is delightful
As a church-leaver, may I say to those who think I want to be spoon-fed: I left because I was tired of being spoon-fed. Worship services have drastically stunted my Christian muscles, and I’m only starting to really recover.
Excellent article! Excellent advice!